Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Golf ball with legs

I sort of snickered when my beautiful wife first made the nearly hysterical phone call Tuesday.
"I am not kidding you, there was a spider the size of a golf ball under the bed," she said. I tried not to laugh because I couldn't tell if she was kidding.
She likes the dramatic -- which is one of the reasons I love her.
"I chased it back under the bed with a broom, but I couldn't get rid of it."
After dinner I went into the bedroom with the flashlight. I poked around a while looking for brown hairy lumps that move. I didn't see anything, so I pulled the mattress and box spring off the frame. Of course in the process I knocked a candle holder off the wall sending broken glass shards across the room. If there was an arachnid under there, I surely scared it away.
I moved everything around ... nothing. I put the room back together and spent half an hour or so cleaning of glass, but no spider.
I've seen wolf spiders the size of a quarter and bigger in the backyard. Nothing to be scared of, so I kind of forgot about it.
I didn't exactly think my beautiful wife was crazy, but I assumed she was trying to pull my chain a little.
So today at supper she looked at me with the mischievous grin and I knew I was going to have to apologize before a whisper passed her lips.
"Guess what the little girl at the bus stop told me today," she said. The neighbor boy "lost something. He lost a spider -- a tarantula to be exact."
Not sure if I should be scared, I kind of held my breath as she went on -- "he said it's not poisonous and I promised I wouldn't tell his parents."
I'm glad she has bonded with the neighbor boy, but that still doesn't solve the problem of a golf-ball sized spider with huge fangs possibly lurking in corners around our house.
The next hour was spent shining a flashlight under and around all the furniture.
It's possible the thing found an opening and left of its own accord, but the fact remains that we still don't know if there might be a big, hairy eight-legged thing somewhere in our humble abode.
Anyone mind switching houses for a few days?


lemming said...

Oh, it's very very tempting.... but I really am looking forward to that root canal.

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